mysql connection help for newbie

[mnigogos]

I have 2 PCs behind my router-one has XAMPP loaded and the second is my PC with Dreamweaver. I installed XAMPP and ODBC without a hitch. The ports 21(FTP) and 3306(mysql) are open and I have been able to use apche and FTP server without a problem. I also imported a database into mysql easily. I am stumped however on how to connect to mysql from my other PC. When trying to use FTP in Dreamweaver to mysql via port 3306 it says "connecting to mysql" for about 30 seconds then says "An FTP error occurred - cannot make connection to host. Dreamweaver encountered an internal data error. Please try the operation again." I can FTP connect via Dreamweaver to port 21 where I can see a folder called /mysql/ (which comes from program files/xampp/mysql).

I believe part of my problem is that I don't understand the relationship between mysql and apache/ftp as well as permissions.
A few questions please:
-Could I connect to my sql (thru 3306) without any installation of apache or ftp? In other words does mysql serve up its own stuff or need the help of the other 2 programs.
-Do I need to declare something in Filezilla to make mysql work-I added port 3306 to my user name but that didn't help
-Perhaps I haven't "opened" up the DB via permissions in my sql-in this area I am a newbie.
Command line entries intimidates me a bit but I am willing to try.
PHPmyadmin is a nice interface but it infers I need to go directly into mysql for permissions.

Couldn't figure out the answer in mysql or Dreamweaver docs.

Thanks so much for helping me!!!
Mark