How can you set mysql variables in my.ini

[mydarkpassenger]

I'm looking to change the minimum stop words for mysql. This is supposed to be done in my.ini however I change the setting, reset the service and mysql is still reporting the value as 4. Is there some other location I'm supposed to change this other than in the my.ini file in the mysql/bin directory?

[Izzy]

...I change the setting, reset the service and mysql is still reporting the value as 4...

Try Stopping then Starting MySQL again as I have no idea what you mean by reset the service.

[mydarkpassenger]

I've actually restarted my machine since then and no go.

[Izzy]

Do you have more my.ini files on your PC other than in the mysql\bin folder, perhaps in the Windows folder?

If so then your XAMPP MySQL instance may be reading the wrong my.ini file.

[mydarkpassenger]

Check my Windows directory and nothing. Is there a way to find out what file xampp is trying to use?

[Izzy]

...Is there a way to find out what file xampp is trying to use?

Assuming you are using XAMPP 1.7.2 (you have not supplied that detail) in your XAMPP Control Panel (XCP) check if MySQL is running as a Windows NT Service by the tick in the Svc box and the green running indication.

Click on the SCM (Service Control Manager) button.

Look in the list for MySQL.

Right click on the MySQL entry and select Properties

Look for Path to executable, you should see something like this:
"C:\xampp\mysql\bin\mysqld.exe" --defaults-file="C:\xampp\mysql\bin\my.ini" MySQL

[Wiedmann]

This is supposed to be done in my.ini however I change the setting, reset the service and mysql is still reporting the value as 4.

What exactly have you added to the my.ini. And more important: where in the my.ini have you added this?