Bad News -
Long story -- short answer. You can't.
Its a compilation issue. Apache and PHP are co-compiles, so you can't mix and match AFAIK. The only folks that could undertake this are 'serial-killer geeks'. Mac's are really Unix boxes deep down inside. So I am not saying you can't recompile from Source, but that kinda defeats the purpose of a bundled distribution.
Google this: 'compile new php version Mac OS X'Good News - There's a new XAMPP beta for Mac OS X.http://www.apachefriends.org/en/xampp-beta.html
See 'shiny new version' of PHP!
It is a beta version, so expect some hiccups. And help the project by reporting nay problems you find on the form page provided
As for the 'other stuff' you have asked about, if it isn't in the package -- expect to have to do some research and testing.