have you bothered to check phphinfo()???
I think support is already present for most of the options you want.
As to recompiling PHP - "I" don't recommend you attempt that with XAMPP - but if you want to try - the Configure Commands used are in phpinfo(). You probably should use the 'dev' package.
XAAMMP/LAMPP is not a standard LAMP stack. Its designed to be useable 'as is'. If you want to custom configure and recomplie (IMO) you should build a standard LAMP stack, as components and configuration files will all be in the 'right places'
For linux users, we ask that they note the Distribution and version they are using in their profile, as (surprise, surprise) they all work differently.